17th Jan (Queenstown : Shotover Triple Challenge) - Another early start, the Shotover Triple Challenge is a half-day adventure package that goes like this: Get herded onto a minibus by attractive young ladies, and drive off into the hills to
the Shotover River jet boat. Meet some nice English people from Brighton (Hi Steve and Caroline!). Sit in a boat powered by a 400bhp V8, then get very wet by jumping over river rapids, then get very scared by being driven towards big rocks. Put on a wetsuit, helmet and lifejacket, get in a helicopter,
then get scared again as your pilot amusingly tests his cornering skills upstream through the river canyon. Divide into sixes, retaining your English buddies, and receive brief but effective tuition on how to paddle a white water raft.
Finally get really wet by deliberately steering an inflatable boat down a steeply sloping river for an hour. This is, without question, the best way I have ever spent any morning.
It's just about to get... | <<<<<
I'm middle right,
Jonny is front left | 
...very wet |
In the afternoon we ate burgers, wrote postcards, ordered our Challenge photos from the attractive young ladies, and drank a moderate amount of Speights.
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18th Jan (Queenstown - Omakau) - Back on the bikes and heading East, we made our way through an arid wine and fruit growing region, with
a lunchtime burger at the thoroughly unremarkable town of Cromwell. Then a nasty stint on highway 8 with an equally nast headwind, before
we turned off for the quiet route to Dunedin, and normal service was resumed.
This is where they invented bungy jumping
(just outside Queenstown) |
A full days riding and a prolonged rain shower brought us to our soggy end at Omakau, which I think I can safely say
was one of our favourite towns. Jonny put the tent up as I went on a recce for a pub and a shop (finding both), and it was not long
before we were drinking beer over a plate of chicken and chips. With the landlord's wife coming from the Isle of Sheppey, and Jonny having been there a few times, we were
soon singled out for special treatment. The fact that we had just ridden from Queenstown also impressed, and the landlord saw fit to announce
"Hey! These aren't yer average dumb tourists!" Naturally he was right - we were above average dumb tourists.
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19th Jan (Omakau - Hyde) - One of the things we found out the previous night, was that the railway on our map (loosely following our road route) was no longer a railway, and
was in fact now the Central Otago Rail Trail. We left the road and followed it for about 30 miles, across what should have been the hottest part of the South Island, had it not been unseasonably cool and
showery.
The Rail Trail | 
Scenery usually scorched brown in summer | 
It's not much like the Hyde back home |
Unfortunately you don't get anywhere very quickly off-road, and with an agenda now set for our remaining time in NZ, we begrudgingly got back on the blacktop. By the time my legs gave up for the day, we had made it to Hyde, which is
actually a few houses and a closed down bar. With no sign of life, we got back on the Rail Trail for a mile or so, and camped under a tree.
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20th Jan (Hyde - Mosgiel) - An hour on the Rail Trail, then back on the road to arrive in Middlemarch in time for brunch at the local store/cafe.
Completely out of water, the store owner (who apparently had had a successful humour bypass) also allowed us to fill up from his outside tap.
This was another day of scenery changes. We started off with the Pennines, went past strange orange fields of rocks, up and over Dartmoor-esque hills, to finish off with trademark NZ grassy slopes.
Having a break just outside Middlemarch. |
First class ice cream can be found at the general store (the first one) in the pretty village of Outram, but they have no camping there so
we had to ride on to the not-so-pretty town of Mosgiel. The camping area behind the leisure centre was run by a friendly but slightly(!) odd man. Still,
he let us both camp, have showers, and use the kitchen for about £1.50, so that was ok by us. With nothing else to do in town, we each had a full meal in the pub,
then bought a large pizza each to eat in the tent too.
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21st Jan (Mosgiel - Dunedin) - After a brief spell on the new Fairfield motorway (oops!), we soon found the old road together with a marked cycle route into Dunedin. It didn't take too long to find 2 nights in a shared room
at the Penguin Palace hostel, then we dumped the bikes and spent the afternoon looking around the city. The evening saw us take a tour of the Speights brewery, and dutifully sample all the different beers they could offer us.
Finally we grabbed a couple of burgers and headed out to the music bar recommended by the Speights tour guide. The Coincidence Fairy struck again when Steve & Caroline (from the Shotover Triple Challenge)
walked in, and we were forced to get drunk with them. It turned out we were on the same flight home, too.
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22nd Jan (Dunedin : Otago Peninsula) - Panniers removed and fitness levels high, we steamed out of Dunedin for a tour of the Otago Peninsula. It was a calm day and we were treated to
views of surrounding hills reflected in the mirror-like Otago Bay. At the end of the peninsula is the world's only mainland albatross colony, so we had a look around over lunch to see what the fuss is all about.
Not a lot as it happens; imagine seagulls that are 10 times bigger, and that's your albatross. We carried on riding.
Riding along the Otago Peninsula from Dunedin | 
Ditto | 
It looks good here even when it's raining |
Much more interesting is the other local wildlife. A nasty climb and a sharp gravel descent had us exploring a fantastic sandy beach, complete with penguins, evil looking jellyfish and a sealion.
That evening saw us track down and eat a series of unsuspecting burgers, then meet up with Steve & Caroline again for more "Brits on Tour" patriotic beer drinking.
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23rd Jan (Dunedin - Christchurch) - A morning and afternoon spent watching the beaches go by from our comfortable seats on the East coast train. One brief moment of alarm saw me awake from a daydream to the face of strange looking German guy staring back at me.
It was quickly all smiles as we swapped route information and experiences. Once in Christchurch, we picked a backpacker's hostel from the guide and rode through the city only to find it completely full.
Luckily for us this was New Zealand, and they helpfully phoned around until they had found us another room nearby.
Abusing the theory that you can have too much of a good thing, we spent the night in an Irish pub, drinking with Steve and Caroline again.
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24th Jan (Christchurch : Banks Peninsula) - The last day, and 930 miles of riding on the clock - this was clearly an unacceptable situation. We raced off through the flat plains to explore the distinctly un-flat Banks Peninsula. 30 miles down, an ice-cream stop next to a local map saw me hatch an epic ride plan to explore
the peninsula coastline, and soon we were heading steeply uphill on a gravel road in the blazing sunshine.
They think it's all over. | 
It is now. Go home! |
And lo, so it was that after 5 minutes, with sweat pouring down my face and an estimated 1500m of climbing remaining in my route, that we declared it was a stupid plan and went back the way we had come (via a beach).
But the job was done - by the end we had clocked up 1010 miles, gotten an awesome sun tan, and on a final high we rode the 30 miles back to Christchurch in little over an hour.
Back at the hostel we packed up the bikes, and went out to the Irish pub to get drunk. Jonny would at this point tell you about the "Jennifer Lopez look-alike" he tried to chat up, but I will instead tell you that
she had more in common with the back end of a goat. Not that I fared any better - just another chance meeting with strange looking German guy. About the last thing I remember is the band playing
500 miles by The Proclaimers, but then to me that's a good thing.
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25th Jan (Go home via Singapore) - Went to the airport in the worlds friendliest taxi, and met up with Steve and Caroline again to do the waiting around thing.
The flight to Singapore took 14 hours, then we were met by my uni mate Mark (aka Hotel Haskell) for 2 nights of tropical
drinking and adventures. Cheers Mark! :o)
Probably the biggest burgers in the world | 
Relaxing in the private pool - as you do. |
Got home, went back to work.
Arse!
The End.
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